Hoplicious

Wolaver's Wildflower Wheat

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wolaver-s-wildflower-wheat-npAneHgizcjzxjsCaima.zip (151 KB)

Background: All of the beers that flow from Wolaver’s vats come with this wonderful little green sticker that isn’t seen on too many pieces of produce in the US: “Organic”. This roughly translates into the idea that all of Wolaver’s hops and malts come from organic sources in and around Vermont. Really though, is there anything from Vermont, especially from the delicate and delicious little town of Middlebury, where Wolaver’s hails from, that isn’t organic? Since this is the first Wolaver’s beer that I have reviewed, let’s get to it!

On The Nose: Being a wheat ale and NOT A FUCKING hefe weizen, get it strait, this beer has a plethora of honey burnt black tea going on with the nose. The front of the label claims that there is chamomile brewed in there but apparently black tea is considered chamomile in Vermont. This combination of smells leaves the beer smelling almost fake…which in my mind is the antithesis of “organic”. Granted these types of beers, brewed with either sugars (honey in this case) or fruits that contain sugars often times give off this type of chemical aroma.

On The Mouth: Maybe it is my palette, which is very odd because I used to adore these types of beers, however they all taste incredibly chemically! What the fuck! And although, there aren’t any Wolaver’s beers yet on this blog, I have had plenty in my lifetime and have enjoyed them. This beer, on the palette is quite flat, containing little if any taste aside from a little bit of sweetness on the backend.

Fin: Perhaps it is time to shelve the IPA’s and grab for anything that doesn’t have an acronym for a name. Or perhaps I should double down on some kind of white beer, especially since it is now the summer. However, as the beer warms up, its aroma seems to have opened up and it smells more like plantains than the chemical flavor that was apparent when it was freshly poured. Needless to say, it is organic and it is a light beer, perfect for the onslaught of heat that anyone will experience this summer. Pick it up if it is reasonable, but let it slide otherwise. In addition, Wolaver’s is going through a bit of a website change; probably for the flash betterment, like all beer companies these days but, is the reason why the website isn’t directly linked in this post.

Alcohol: 4.25 ABV

Score: 79

Wolf Beer Nut Brown

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wolf-beer-nut-brown-cEwdktwkdchyyBEcgzcn.zip (108 KB)

Background: Wolf Beer…never heard of them, just like most of the people reading (or maybe not reading) this blog. Wolf Beer is a local brewery out of the great, and often times too fucking hot state of North Carolina. Named after the mascot of the state university (the wolfpack), this beer is definitely from a relatively new brewery. They happen to have a very small distribution radius so if you can't make it within the states of North and South Carolina, Georgia, Pennsylvania, Virginia, and Arkansas you might be missing out. Btw, that Arkansas distributer is definitely out of left field.

On The Nose: Nut Brown ales in general seem to embody a very uniquely maple syrup aroma. Perhaps it is because I am from Maine and was brought up on a harsh diet of maple syrup and smashed blueberry chowdah but, this beer is brimming with a ridiculous amount of sweetness. Maple syrup, molasses, brown sugar…you name it, it is apparent on this nose. Gay bacon not included. Besides the overwhelming sugar smell, there isn’t much else going on in the nose.

On The Mouth: The simplicity of the nose comes crashing back in with unequivocal ferocity on the mouth. This beer is not only bland, it is a little hollow and without almost any taste aside from a short kick of sugar at the beginning. Let’s see if there is any improvement from letting the beer warm up a little.
Some time later -
The warmer this beer gets, the more malt actually seems to flood in. This beer is disjointed…at best. I don’t actually know what else to say

Fin: If you are bored of that Killians 24 pack you have been nursing, happen to be in North Carolina, AND want to support the local economy, head for this beer. Instead, go out and find a Troegs Nugget Nectar or an African Amber from Mac and Jack’s brewery. This might be the very first beer on this blog that has no redeeming value to it. However, don’t discount this brewery; if I find a different brew sitting around the store, I will pick it up, just to see how good/bad it goes down.

Alcohol: 5.5% ABV

Score: 76

New Belgium Mighty Arrow

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new-belgium-mighty-arrow-ruFHzHhorwJGDCaDJcqG.zip (250 KB)

Background: There will always be a special space in my heart for the guys at New Belgium. They give out bikes to all employees who have made it through their first year with the company and they reward their employees for actually using them. In addition, they were named one of the best places to work in 2008 by Outside Magazine. So they make kick ass beer, they give all their employees a bike, their parking lot is built for bikes and…they make kick as beer. So what’s not to like again?

On The Nose: This IPA is crawling with citrus (pomegranate) and honey flavoring. Most IPA’s seem to have a citrus or floral note that is super apparent on the nose; however, this particular one has a sugary smell lingering around. The longer this thing sits in the glass though, the quicker all of this seems to be dissipating. The aroma doesn’t exactly pull the drinker into it but, it does make the beer seem alluring none the less.

On The Mouth: This beer is definitely on the light side of IPAs. The sugar hint that is apparent on the nose usually leads to a fuller, richer bodied beer overall. Not at all true here. In addition, the beer doesn’t have the “hoppy bite” that draws me into most IPAs. The slightly higher than normal ABV can definitely be felt from just one beer; however, it does seem to go down much like H20

Fin: Overall, the Mighty Arrow is not my favorite beer to come from the absolutely brilliant peeps at New Belgium (never been a real fan of their 1554 Black Ale). It is definitely a very light, summer IPA, which is odd since it is marketed as a “spring seasonal.” The best way to make the aromas on the nose come out on the palette is by cooling the bottle down in the freezer, then pouring it into your favorite beer glass and letting it sit for 15-20 minutes. The room temperature combined with the cold beer seems to stimulate the hops and tickle the taste buds. With all of this criticism, just remember, there are definitely some shittier IPAs out there.

Alcohol: 6.0% ABV

Score: 87

Use Beer To Revive Animals

via news.com.au

Sad our Stateside sissy beer couldn't accomplish such a feat.

10 Beers For The Girls

via blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com

Actually, this list isn't half bad when it comes to wetting your feet with different beers. In addition, feel free to use it to know your friend is full of shit when she / he talks about their awesome beer palette but, chooses one of these.

The Health of Beer

via belancio.com

Are beer guts really caused from beer? I know infographics are diluting what little intellect is left on the Internet but, this one is cool if not a little hard to read.

Left Hand 400 Pound Monkey

There are really only a few times where I will swear off reviewing a beer due to how unbelievably bad it is. For everyone's information, this beer is terrible; a true Goldblum pile of shit.

Great Lakes Conway's Irish Ale

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great-lakes-conway-s-irish-ale-gilBsyfJpmCqthDpdktE.zip (51 KB)

Background: I constantly see the Great Lakes Brewery in the grocery store and have consistently decided to pass on it due to the cluster fuck that is their label…and really because it is out of Cleveland Ohio. If you can’t tell, I have never been a huge fan of this town and for any Ohioers out there, I am only sorta sorry. The label, right. Yeah it is full of badly designed typography, blackness, and is generally boring. The only reason I picked up the six pack was the fact that I haven’t had a good Irish ale in a long time and a friend who is kind of a beer nerd recommended the brewery. With that, let’s see what is going on.

On The Nose: The smell that is ever so slightly emanating from this beer is absolutely gorgeous for its light brown color (I haven’t had a Irish ale in a while but damn, this stuff is light in color). It has a sweet hint of molasses, a sense of chocolate and a definite caramel scent. This combination is absolutely brilliant in my mind. It is like that perfect girlfriend who isn’t too clingy and definitely can cook like no-tomorrow. She is smart, quiet, and incredibly sensible when it comes to dealing with everyday life. Dang, this nose is absolutely perfect. In addition, I should warn the readers that I have been in serious "diet mode" therefore, I have been without sweets for a month now. Tonight is my last day and I am absolutely pining for the sugars that are coming across on this nose.

On The Mouth: The perfection that this ale has on the nose is definitely not quite there on the mouth. This beer turns its’ quirky YET elegant nose into simply a quirky taste. This isn’t completely bad though because the beer really is good. It serves up a lot of the same caramel that was apparent on the nose, along with a light “milk” consistency. The milky-ness does throw a wrench in the system; however, I tend to be quite a fan. As I sit here and sift the beer around in the mouth, I have realized that the main issue that I have with the taste is how fast it seems to disappear from the palette. That’s just sad really.

Fin: Maybe I was a bit too harsh with how this beer played on my palette. Look, the reality is that this beer is not bad. It isn’t something that you want to avoid just because someone on the Internet with completely different taste buds thinks that it is just “ahkyay” in the words of Malcovitch in Rounders. Go and find it, give it a whirl and tell me what you think. I am genuinely interested in what all of my readers think with all my reviewed beers but, this one definitely peeks my interest.

Alcohol: 6.50 ABV

Score: 87

Tommyknocker Maple Brown Ale

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tommyknocker-maple-brown-ale-gjygdJEGnJullypAuomJ.zip (62 KB)

Background: Tommyknocker Brewery has definitely not been on my radar for very long. Actually, only as long as I have been drinking this specific brew. Being a maple brown ale from some brewery I had never heard of, it really peaked my interest. This coupled with a sensible 7 dollar price tag sold the beer in seconds. With that, let’s see if this beer is really as good as its' packaging.

On The Nose: This “nut brown” ale definitely smells of molasses on the nose…I thought the bottle read “maple?” In addition, there is a heavy amount of sugar, brown sugar, and any other kind of sweetness that you can possibly think of coming through on this nose. The beer could definitely be serving up some incredibly floral notes but they are being dominated, and I do mean DOMINATED by the sugar-fied front end. To be fare, most brown ales tend to be a little stale on the nose. They tend to smell like any other light ale, not very hoppy, not very aerobatic, tight and often times impossible to get a good handle on. Anyway, my guess is that this will translate oh so not nicely over to the mouth.

On The Mouth: Having had my nostrils actually in the beer (I accidentally dipped it in to see if my nose would turn to sugar taffy) you would think that there would be more on the palette. This beer is incredibly hollow, a little morbid, and considerably boring. The dichotomy between this beer’s nose and mouth is shit-your-pants stunning. What you get the moment this brew hits your tongue you get a millisecond wave of sugar and then nothing. Talk about a beer that falls flat on it’s face…and it’s palm…then it promptly breaks it’s penis (yeah, really that bad).

Fin: This beer gets a serious pass. It isn’t so much bad as it is boring, hollow, and rather quite vapid in the end. The label portrays a wee person (read: midget) filling a beer barrel with sticky maple syrup. It’s fun and looks like it was designed to portray age and perhaps some kind of wisdom. The issue is, the beer that is actually in the bottle doesn’t taste or even smell like the beer being portrayed through the label. It all just feels fake and rather mass produced which are two of the biggest strikes in my beer book. Not a fail, but close enough to make me want to go punch a cat.

Alcohol: 4.5% ABV

Score: 76

United States of Beer

via vvoice.vo.llnwd.net

The Houston Press, of all places comes out swinging with a sudo epic beer info-graphic. It continues to baffle me that I can't just run down to the store to pick up a Snake River IPA, or an Allagash tripple because I live in North Carolina. Moreover, I don't understand why Nevada's beer is Four Loko, but then again I was really never into that swill.